We're home!

Some days, I still can't believe that we're actually home.  But, we did it!  The two of us traveled halfway across the world, spent 2.5 weeks away from Asher and Mac, and then traveled 24 hours back across the world with an 18 month old we were just beginning to know.  We've had a pretty crazy month. 

It has been quite an adjustment to get back into the daily grind of things with a new person to now think about.  When we first got back, Asher and Mac seemed a little sad/mad/disenchanted with their new brother.  But, as this week has progressed, I think the older boys are realizing that while their lives have changed, Strider and I are still here to love and care for them.  We're starting to get into the groove of our "new normal" and it's going well today.  That's not to say that every day has been good.  We've been home for 9 days now and it has definitely been a HUGE transition for Strider and I too.  The first 5 days back were probably the roughest.  On top of being totally sleep-deprived, I felt completely emotionally overwhelmed with trying to care for three boys' needs (who were all so completely different and seemed to compete with one another the majority of the time).  Also, I have never rubbed Asher or Mac's back to get them to go to sleep, but I am now doing that for nap time and night time for Kenan (and was doing it throughout the night for awhile too- although he has put himself back to sleep the last 2 nights with no pats!!).  It sounds like a small thing to have to do, but I only have a precious hour to myself for afternoon naptime, so laying with Kenan and rubbing his back for 15 minutes of that is the last thing I want to do when my to-do list is out the window.  But, even with all this, I am glad that he is now a part of our family.  We're still getting used to each other and feeling one another out, but he is so cuddly and lovable and completely full-of-life.  I am praying for God to continue to bond us to one another.

I'll end it tonight with a funny encounter with our neighbor today.  We live across the street from a family with 6 year old twins.  This was the first time we had seen them since we got back from China and they wandered over into our yard today to say hi.  As soon as they got to our yard, the little boy started screaming, "He lost his hand! That baby lost his hand!"  I had to reassure him that he didn't lose it- God made him that way.  He kept mentioning it the whole time we were playing, but he was just curious and processing the fact that someone looked differently than most people do.  I'm sure that this will just be the first encounter of many...

So, now I'll move on to everyone's favorite part of the blog- pictures!! These are pictures I took yesterday and today as we played around our house.  I'm starting to see some brotherly love develop and that is so encouraging to me!

 

Our last full day in China!

We had our appointment at the U.S. Consulate today.  This was the appointment that our entire trip to China had been arranged around.  It went fairly quickly and we had no problems.  Our agency representative will pick up all of our important documents from the Consulate tomorrow and then we'll have everything we need to get Kenan into the U.S. when we land in L.A.  Even though we'll have his Visa by tomorrow afternoon, he's not an official U.S. citizen until our plane touches down in L.A.  We fly out of Guangzhou tomorrow night at 9:30pm (9:30am your time) and land in L.A. at 7:00pm.  I think I might cry for joy when we finally walk on U.S. soil again- even though we have a 5 hour layover in L.A. and then a 4 hour flight to Atlanta and then a 1 hour flight to Jacksonville.  So, we will land in Jacksonville at 9:22am Wednesday morning. 

 

This afternoon, we took pictures in our hotel of our travel group.  Kenan was relaxed during them, but I can't say that was true of sweet little Jeremy! :)

The two big girls on the ends are the sisters of Jeremy and Annie.  Annie's family has been with us the whole time, but Jeremy's family just joined us in Guangzhou because they adopted Jeremy from a different province than Annie and Kenan. 

 

  Even though I'm a little late saying it, I'll say it anyway.  Happy Easter everyone!

"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay."  Matthew 28:6 

Yesterday morning, we went to a small church on Shamian Island, a small sandbank island about a 15 minute drive from our hotel in Guangzhou.  It was such a little oasis!  There were no big intersections, fast cars, or hordes of people.  It was quite relaxing to walk around.  We were so surprised at the signs at this little church.  One sign clearly said, "Jesus is the only answer."  I didn't expect a state-approved church to be allowed to be that forward.  The service was in Mandarin and English.  The mandarin-speaking pastor would say something and then a lady would translate it into English.  We read 1 Corinthians 15:13-17 and sang 2 songs in English ("Because He Lives" and one more) and then a couple of Mandarin songs as well.  It was so neat to worship openly in a room full of Chinese men, women, and children, and some other Caucasian people too. 
                                                                                                             

Then, we went to eat lunch at a restaurant named Lucy's Bar and Grill.  We had hamburgers, fries, onion rings, and peppermint milkshakes.  Kenan almost downed the entire milkshake before we realized how much he had drank.  He's a Stokes boy alright!!

I just can't wait until we can get him home to play with Asher and Mac.  I think it will take me awhile to get over seeing all three of my boys all together!  Kenan is so fun to play with and he is so quick to pick up on sign language.  He is already shaking his hands when we say something is "all gone."  And we haven't had any more mommy confusion in the last few days.  He hasn't wanted any random Chinese ladies, which always makes me happy!  He is also beginning to see that Strider is pretty fun to be with.  Kenan has been taking Strider's hand and leading him around to go exploring.  He played tackle-time with Strider yesterday and even let Strider get him dressed this morning.  I not only love him, but we both really like being with him too.  I truly see how God picked him out just for our family.  He is so full of life and curious about places and people.  He is the perfect mix of both Asher and Mac.  Pretty soon, my littlest boy will be home and I will finally be able to put my arms around my two biggest boys!

Now, if only we could skip the crazy jet lag and all that sleep-deprivation...

 

 

The Roses and Rainbows are Fading...

We arrived in Guangzhou yesterday, and we're already feeling so much more at peace than we were during the latter part of last week.  But, I don't want to forget what it felt like to be in Zhengzhou for 9 days, so I want to write about it.  So, even though I'm a little late in writing it, here goes...

The first few days of being in Zhengzhou were so amazing.  There are no words to describe the joy we felt the day we got Kenan.  But by Wednesday the 27th, almost a week after receiving Kenan, we had had enough.  We were both longing for the United States with such gusto that I didn't know if it was even going to be bearable to stay here for 6 more days.

I loved Kenan from the moment I saw his referral picture, but even more so once I actually saw him with my own eyes! He was so handsome and snuggly and I just couldn't believe that God would entrust me with this gift that was so precious.  He bonded to me almost immediately, and he loved for Strider to tease him and play with him as long as he was sitting safely in my lap.  But, he didn't want to be out of my sight even for a second.  It didn't bother Strider at first- he was glad that Kenan had bonded with me- but after almost a week of not having Kenan like him as much as he liked me started to get to him.  And I can't blame him.  While Kenan liked me better than Strider, he would have sold me out in a heartbeat if a young Chinese girl would have offered to take him home.  And who can blame him?  Our baby has been through so much upheaval in the last week and a half that anything familiar probably looked pretty good to him.  But, a mother longs to be wanted.  And knowing that I had two little boys at home that loved me and missed me and liked me more than anybody else- except Strider- we're equal :)- made it really hard to like Kenan all the time.  I felt sad and disappointed and a little mad that he liked those women he didn't even know better than he liked me.  And of course those thoughts are irrational.  But, when you're sleep-deprived and America-deprived and other children-deprived, your thoughts can get a little bit out of control.  (Note: my three break-downs so far have happened at night- it's true that everything always seems better in the morning) 

When we took Kenan to the zoo this past Wednesday, a sweet young Chinese lady (maybe age 20) wanted to practice her English, so she was talking and walking with us.  Well, she started to talk to Kenan while he was in his stroller, and he reached up his arms, so she picked him up.  In my head, I'm like "Noooooo!!!  He's supposed to be bonding with us and you're going to mess everything up!!"  But, I tried to remain calm and so after she carried him for a few minutes, I reach to take him back from her, and he screams bloody murder.  He wanted to stay with her!  That broke my heart.  I just want him to see me as his mom so bad!  I had to walk away with him while he screamed for this other woman.  Over his screams, I'm trying to tell Strider to tell our agency representative to tell that lady that she has got to go!  So, she leaves us and life is ok again.  I've even got pictures to prove it! 

Strider and Kenan really started to begin to bond on this trip because there was a playground area and Kenan actually let Strider help him climb and slide and they had some good moments together!  Kenan's laugh is so contagious and he is so fun to play with.  He has such a sweet, playful spirit. 

The other thing that has been so hard about being in China has been the constant (and by constant I mean literally every single person that walks by us) stares and comments that we get.  We can't just take a walk and mind our own business.  When we first arrived, it was a little funny and not that big of a deal.  But, by the time we had endured it for almost a week, we were ready to punch some people out.  I'm glad that we are followers of Jesus, because it might have been a different story if we weren't. 

It's so disconcerting that no matter where we went, people would surround the stroller and talk loudly in Chinese as if we weren't there.  We have no idea if they were talking about the fact that we didn't have him dressed properly, that he only has one hand, that they just thought it was really weird that two foreigners had a Chinese baby with them, or something else entirely.  But, whatever the reason, we had reached our breaking point.  I should definitely have looked up how to say, "Mind your own business" in Chinese before we left.  But, they've probably never heard that phrase in their life.  They know nothing about personal space or personal business here.  I didn't realize what a blessing it is to go for a walk in my neighborhood without being the object of everyone's attention.  I cannot wait to get back to the U.S. and just be one in 315,000,000.   Only 4 more days now!

But, like I said, we are now in Guangzhou, our last leg of the trip, and it is so much better!  We can even order Subway or Papa Johns and have it delivered!  And there are Americans all over the hotel with Chinese babies!  The U.S. Consulate is located here in Guangzhou, so no matter where your child is from, every adoptive family has to stay here to go to their Consulate appointment.  It's so nice to finally be able to speak to more people than just our guide and the Wilson family- even though we are so so so thankful for the Wilsons :)  Breakfast and dinner with them each day has been a saving grace for us throughout this process.

Please continue to pray for safe travels for us as well as Asher and Mac and my parents as they bring them back to FL from NC.  And please pray for bonding to continue between us and Kenan.

I'll write another post a different day with more details about our experience here in Guangzhou.  We're going to travel to an island tomorrow that we've heard is similar to Charleston and hopefully attend a church with a bilingual service for Easter.  Hopefully, I'll have some fun pictures to post from there!  Thank you for coming along with us on this journey!  

Lots about Kenan! And the Aquarium too!

You've gotten to see a lot of pictures of Kenan, but I haven't gotten to write very much about what he is like.  So, here goes.  On the one hand, he LOVES to explore!  He wants to go outside every chance he gets and he has no qualms about letting go of our hand to go walk somewhere he wants to go.  The other day, we were in the lobby of the hotel and they have a revolving door going outside, and he just let go of my hand and took off towards the door.  He made it inside one of the little sections of it and it started turning, but I was able to jump in with him and bring him back inside.  But, he is completely and utterly scared of animals- and not just the kind that are alive.  Stuffed animals are totally scary to him too!  At least the upside is that Asher and Mac can just put their Monkey and Teddy next to the toys they don't want him to play with and I don't think they will have to worry about him touching them! :)

So, in light of this fear, we weren't sure how he would do at an aquarium, but we decided to give it a try since we have nothing scheduled for the next three days.  We did the paperwork for his passport yesterday, so we are just killing time here in Zhengzhou until his passport is ready.  So, us and the Wilsons- the family that is with us- braved an aquarium and were pleasantly surprised to find that he actually did ok.  When I would point out the sea lions, or some of the bigger animals, he would do this scared whimper and sort of lean his head back, but besides that, he seemed to enjoy being out and about. 

He is really fun and playful, but he is definitely really attached to me.  He likes Strider as long as I am nearby.  Kenan won't voluntarily go on a walk with Strider, but he does love to tease him.  Kenan will play peekaboo over the bed at him or put his foot out so Strider can get it and make funny noises to him.  Or he'll do his little look-at-me-noise when he wants Strider to pay attention to him. 

And we just discovered at naptime today that Kenan definitely would rather me talk in a low voice about anything until he falls asleep rather than sing to him.  He was being so fussy and crying and I knew he was tired, but he wouldn't settle down in his crib. I was singing sweetly to him and rubbing his tummy and thought he should like it, but in the middle of singing, I said to Strider that Kenan didn't seem to like my singing.  Now, whether it's singing in general, or just my singing, I guess we'll never know.  But nevertheless, Strider thought I should just talk to him in my normal voice, and the second I did, he immediately put his thumb in his mouth, and went right to sleep!!  I'm learning new things about my boy everyday! :)

                                     Strider and Kenan are watching the sea lion show (above).

This is Kenan's friend Annie- she is the newest addition to the Wilson family, who is traveling with us! We'll have to take a group picture of our two families with Vivian, our agency representative in Zhengzhou, sometime this week.

 

You may be wondering what this last picture is.  Well, if you remember from my blog post yesterday, the Chinese people dress their toddlers in split pants with no diapers on.  Well, this is what happens when your child has an accident while wearing split pants.  This was on the floor by the penguins at the aquarium today!

 

Zhengzhou Life

We are staying in Zhengzhou until this coming Friday- so we will have been here a total of 9 nights once we're at the end of our stay.  Zhengzhou is the capital of the Henan Province, where Kenan was born, so we have to stay here awhile until we get all of his hometown paperwork complete.  Strider, Kenan, and I ventured out on Saturday to a park near our hotel and snapped some photos and videos to give you a little taste of what we're experiencing here in China.  We are definitely the object of everyone's attention when we go out because it is so strange to see Americans walking around with a Chinese baby.  And we get chided by the Chinese grandmas sometimes because they think we're not dressing him warmly enough.  I don't think Kenan's arms or legs have ever even seen the sunshine.  My how that's going to change when we get back to Florida!

You have to look closely at this picture to see why we took it.  This little boy's hiney cheeks are hanging out- we see this everywhere!  Apparently they do this so it's easy for little ones to go to the bathroom- probably because they don't want to take off all those layers of clothing when they need to go!

 

 

They had this festival in this little park by our hotel.  One of the parts of the festival included all these people painting these figurines.  We took video of it because it was so interesting to see all these little kids patiently painting these figurines in the park.  There is even a Lakers one on the table. 

 

All these paddle boats are in the center of the lake in this park and there are always people out there paddling them around.

The park is actually quite pretty.  It's like a little oasis in the center of the madness of this city.  I'll post more pictures next time of what the actual city looks like.

 

 

And, of course I have to post a video of Kenan that we took yesterday while he was asking for more cheerios at our hotel.  He says, "mama" (because that's one of the only words he knows) and turns his head to the side when he wants more of something. 

 

We got him!!!

Well, it's been quite a day!  It started out pretty rough, but it seems like God has given him a peace about us.  That is such an answered prayer.  Please continue to pray that He will show Kenan that we love him and that he is safe with us. 

We got to the adoption registration office at about 10:15am and Kenan arrived with an orphanage official shortly after that.  He came right to me without crying at all, which made me sigh a little bit with relief.  I wanted some good pictures with him- and I didn't want him screaming in all of them :)  I started crying the moment the official brought him in.  I couldn't believe the moment was finally here that we've been waiting on for so long.  He really and completely felt like my son, and I can't wait until he views us like his parents.  We skyped Asher and Mac and they were really excited to see him and tell him hi.  Please continue to pray for family unity when we get back.

Before I get to the pictures, I have to tell you two things about what you are about to see:

1.  He has a crazy shiner above his eye and a major cut below his eye.  No, we didn't do it in our first five minutes of watching him.  Apparently, he fell while he was running in the park with a nanny at his orphanage yesterday.

2.  He has on a crazy outfit.  The Chinese bundle their babies up in these super puffy outfits- even bigger than snowsuits.  It was 65 degrees today, so my poor boy was sweating up a storm in this outfit.  Also sort of ironic is what is embroidered on his shirt.  It says, "We all love hands" and there is a picture of a hen on it.  Now, maybe they can't really read English (at least lets hope so), because that seems like a little bit of a messed up thing to put on a kid with one hand- just saying!  Or maybe, it's supposed to say, "We all love hens."  I don't know.  But, as soon as we got back to the hotel, we put him in some good old-fashioned American jeans and a t-shirt. 

Anyway, enough talking!  Here are the pictures!

 

After our initial smooth transition, he definitely realized something was up and he started crying and wanting anyone Chinese.  Once we got back to the hotel, he wouldn't let me set him down.  I couldn't even sit on the bed with him.  He only wanted me to stand and hold him.  It was exhausting.  Then, it was time for his nap, and he started crying when I sat down on the bed, but I just held him close and let him cry on me, hoping he would tire himself out and go to sleep.  He did, and slept for just under an hour.  When he woke up, he was not happy, but he drank a bottle and then ate a hard-boiled egg and a croissant and then started to play a little bit with a toy car we brought him.  It's been getting better since then.  We walked to Starbucks- you can see the pictures below- and he got out of the stroller and played and laughed with us.  It was so fun to bond with him and see him smile and laugh.  He played forever with the plastic little sign on the table by taking the paper in and out!

 

Last, but not least, he is asleep in his little crib right now.  He's been asleep for about an hour, so we'll see what the night brings.  Thanks for getting excited with us on this exhausting, rewarding and totally foreign adventure that we're on!